Bmovies

I sat through "Where The Boys Are" five times. Unfortunately it wasnt the original 1960 film (which is a good one), but the crappy 1984 remake produced by Allan Carr (who also produced one of my favorite films of all time, "Grease").

At the time I was going to the movies at least once a week with my friend. I'd take the bus into his neighborhood, and most of the time we'd go to one of the movie theaters near him (occasionally we went to a theater outside his neighborhood, because sometimes certain flicks werent playing near where he lived).

Now, we were both big time movie buffs. On the weekends we tried to see everything that was newly released, regardless of the quality. Usually I would arrive at his apartment before we would head off to the theater. But this time we agreed to meet in the theater, and we agreed to see the movie remake of Where The Boys Are. I arrived at the theater, bought my ticket and went inside to see the film. The first show came and went and my friend didnt show up. So I began to sit through it a second time. During the second showing, I went downstairs to the lobby area (the movie theater had 4 screens. Two downstairs and two upstairs) to use the pay phone to call up my friend to see what was holding him up. I called him and as it turned out, he decided not to come to the theater at all.

I was pretty disappointed, and was making my mind up to go home when I noticed that in one of the theaters downstairs, there was CONSTANT and EXPLOSIVE laughter coming from the audience. The movie they were watching was the first "Police Academy" film. Judging from that audience laughter alone, it was clear that the movie they were watching was a thousand times better and funnier than the dreck I just saw.

So, instead of going home, I decided to see Police Academy. Problem was that I had no money for another ticket. Nothing except for my bus fare home. So, I decided to try to sneak in to see Police Academy. Problem with that is the theater management seemed to sense that it being such a popular film, the other theater patrons like me might be tempted to sneak in, so they stationed a female usher, an old biddy in her 50s-60s, right at the entrance of the theater. Everytime someone would try to walk in, she would stop them and ask to see their ticket stubs to make sure that they bought a ticket for that particular movie. (The other three theaters they left completely unguarded)

I decided to stick around with the thought that she couldnt stand there forever. Sooner or later she would have to leave her station for one reason or the other. Naturally, I just couldnt stand there in the lobby all afternoon long waiting for that. I would draw too much attention to myself. So I went back upstairs to Where The Boys are, watched the rest of it till it ended, went downstairs with the rest of the audience, saw that the old usher was STILL there, guarding Police Academy from being seen by people who didnt buy a ticket. I stood there in the lobby and watched the Police Academy audience file out after that movie ended, and the old woman usher still stood there.

I went back upstairs to wait for the third show of Where The Boys Are to start. After a few minutes of the movie, I went back downstairs to see if the old usher was still there. Yep, she was. All throughout the third showing, every so often I'd go downstairs to check to see if that old biddy of an usher finally left the Police Acadmey entrance unguarded. Nope, she stood her ground. So, I stayed through the 4th and 5th showing of Where The Boys Are, doing the same through both showings: Going downstairs every so often to see if I could sneak into Police Academy. Not a chance. That old woman usher stuck to her post like a Marine on guard duty. After the 5th showing of Where The Boys are (and the final showing for the day), Police Academy ended pretty much at the same time. So, now I was forced to leave the movie theater as it was closing for the evening.

And as I exited the theater to go home, I looked over my shoulder to see if she was still there. Sure enough she was. (As if anyone was going to try to sneak in now). The last thing I saw of the theater as I was walking out was that old woman standing her ground, practically daring anyone to slip by her.

I told my friend about the explosive laughter coming from that part of the theater, and the part about me trying to sneak in, the usher on guard, etc. His response was that "we gotta see that movie". So a couple weeks later me and my friend did get to see Police Academy in that very same theater, and guess what? That SAME old lady usher was guarding that very same movie! She asked to see our ticket stubs (yes, which we paid for), we showed them to her and she let us in. We liked the movie so much, we stayed to see it a second time.

Labels: movie, police academy